Shattered Glass, Cheap Liquor and Broken Homes
by SiriuslyLoopyLupin
Summary: Written for a challenge, this one shot is a bittersweet moment between Sirius and Remus set around OotP as they share drunken memories of friendship, love and heartache.


**Author's Note: Here's another one shot set to the title, "Shattered Pieces, Cheap Liquor and Broken Homes". This one is Sirius x Remus. **

"Shattered Pieces, Cheap Liquor, and Broken Homes"

It was Tuesday, February 21, at two o' clock in the morning. Sirius was sitting at his kitchen, moodily staring down into his glass of Firewhiskey, mumbling incoherently. It had been about two months since he last saw or talked to Harry – Christmas vacation, actually. Once the kids were gone Number 12, Grimmauld Place tended to empty itself. Molly and Arthur moved back to the Burrow and the Order members tended not to come around anymore. It was business as usual. They, unlike some people, Sirius glowered, had lives. They had work to go to, kids to feed, homes to clean, friends to hang out with. Sirius was stuck here every day, every bloody day, with Kreacher.

Sure, Remus was living with him, and sure, the Order still had meetings so Sirius had something to do every week. But Remus was gone most of the time for the Order, and the meetings only lasted a few hours, maybe dinner, and they were gone.

Groaning, Sirius grabbed his glass and threw his head back, downing the remaining dregs of it. Eyeing the now empty glass with contempt, he looked around.

"I know I left the bottle around somewhere…" Sirius stumbled to his feet, and started searching the kitchen. Sure enough, he found the half empty bottle of Firewhiskey sitting in the sink. "I found you! You tried to run away from me, b-but I found you! Silly bottle,"

Pouring himself with a new glass with surprisingly little spillage, he settled himself back into his chair with the bottle in one hand, his glass in the other, already taking one large gulp of the glass.

Sirius often drank himself into a stupor before going to bed. Otherwise, he had nightmares. Nightmares of James and Lily, turning and walking away despite his desperate pleas for them to stay. James and Lily, staring straight out, unseeingly, dead on the floor. Harry, dead. Involuntarily, Sirius shivered, taking a large gulp from the bottle this time, spilling the alcohol over his chin and down onto his chest.

He stood up and began to pace around the room. _Don't think,_ he told himself. _Just stop thinking_. He grabbed the edges of the sink, staring down into the drain. Hot, angry tears prickled at his eyes.

"Sirius?"

As Sirius turned to face the speaker, not having heard him enter, he groaned. "'Lo, Remus,"

Remus' mouth was set into a straight, grim, thin line. He had come home to find Sirius drunk plenty of times but he seemed as if he was worse tonight. His hair was unkempt, sticking in all different directions. His face was red, and on it he wore a look of utter contempt and despair. Remus sighed, eyeing the almost empty Firewhiskey bottle.

"C'mon, Sirius, let's get you to bed," He walked forward, waving his hand at Sirius to come join him.

"I don't want to go to bed," Sirius tried to back away but he was already against the cabinets.

"Let's go, Sirius," His voice had turned more demanding. He was standing in front of Sirius, pinching the bridge of his nose, sighing.

"No,"

"Sirius, let's—" Remus stretched out his hand.

"I SAID NO!" Sirius pulled his hand back and released it forward, punching Remus in the jaw.

"God dammit!" Remus stumbled backwards, his hand against the jaw. "What the fuck was that for?"

"I said, I didn't want to go," Sirius mumbled pitifully, sounding like a small child who just got caught. He slid down the counters to sit on the floor.

"What's the big deal?" Remus rubbed his jaw, pulling out a spoon from the drawers to check his reflection for bruises. "Damn, Sirius, this is going to bruise."

"Ihavenightmares," He mumbled as quietly and quickly as possible.

"Nightmares?" Remus looked interested now, joining Sirius on the floor. Sirius cursed. Damn the man's werewolf hearing. "What kind of nightmares?"

"Of James. Lily, too. Occasionally us and sometimes of Peter." It was the first time Sirius had referred to him by first name, as if they were still friends. Remus sighed, and pulled out his wand.

"_Accio Firewhiskey_," He caught the bottle, and took a sip as well. "I get them too."

The two sat in a comfortable, sad silence before Sirius started laughing. Really laughing, laughing harder than Remus had heard in ages.

"What? What are you—Sirius, shut up, what are you laughing at?"

"Look at us!" He bellowed, gesturing wildly. "We're grown man, sitting on the kitchen floor, getting drunk." He laughed again, quieter this time. "I never expected to be here."

"Me neither."

"I had plans," Sirius continued somberly. "I was going to live like a rich prat in a flat in London. I was going to be an Auror, side by side with James, fighting on great adventures together. I was going to bring home a different girl each week. James and I… we were still as close. I was going to be Godfather to all of his children."

"I'd forgotten he'd wanted a big family," Remus said softly.

"I didn't. I remember that fact every time I look at Harry and I wonder how many siblings he would have if James and Lily didn't—were still—" He broke off, a few tears slipping down his face. "You know, I forget they're dead sometimes." Remus nodded.

"This morning, I was bored, so I put on my cloak and went to the door to Apparate to Godric's Hollow, just to pop in and say hello." Sirius stopped, taking the bottle out of Remus' hands and taking another large gulp. Suddenly understanding, Remus sighed.

"Then you remembered?"

"Then I remembered that James and Lily are dead. That they died because I fought with them to change their Secret-Keeper to that bloody traitor! Then I remembered that Harry is an orphan because of me. I took away his parents, his future. Then I remembered how I was stuck in this godforsaken broken house again, something I swore would never happen."

Remus said nothing. He had learned long ago not to tell Sirius it wasn't his fault. In such dire times, he resorted back to their childhood nicknames, which he loathed to do because it brought back too many painful memories. "Padfoot…"

". I thought you were the spy, Moony. I blamed you! All those years in Azkaban, they come back and haunt me. I was so blind; I should have noticed. I liked Peter the least out of all of us, I always thought he was too shifty. But I was too distraught about you being the spy and too busy with Harry,"

"And I you," Remus replied, tossing the now empty bottle between his hands. "I was supposed to be the observant one, I should have noticed. But there's nothing we can do now but continue living. James and Lily understand."

Sirius laughed a choked laugh, wiping away the few angry tears that had escaped.

"C'mon, Padfoot," Remus said again as he stood, this time much more gently as he offered Sirius his hand. "Let's get you to bed."

The other man nodded and stood up. The two friends stumbled up the stairs silently and stood for a moment in the doorway of Sirius' bedroom.

"Goodnight, my friend. I hope you sleep well." Remus turned to go to his own bedroom, his own nightmares, but Sirius called out.

"Moony?" He had one hand on the edge of the open door, the other in his pocket, standing nervously. "Please don't go?"

"Of course," Remus said with a smile after a moment's deliberation. He turned back and entered his friend's room.

**Author's Notes: This can be taken as just friendship or possible romance—your choice. Please read and review. **


End file.
